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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26484613">You Won’t Find Salvation in Stagnation</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/SinnohRemaker/pseuds/SinnohRemaker'>SinnohRemaker</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dangan Ronpa Another Episode: Ultra Despair Girls, Super Dangan Ronpa 2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Despair Era (Dangan Ronpa), Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Injury Recovery, M/M, Mental Instability, Remnants of Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Self-Harm</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 10:48:54</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,603</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26484613</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/SinnohRemaker/pseuds/SinnohRemaker</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Makoto and Kyoko are in over their heads when it comes to gathering all of the Remnants of Despair and making sure their mental states are stable enough to be put in the Neo World Program, especially since they have to do everything under the Future Foundation’s nose. Kyoko requests Makoto’s assistance in helping out a particular remnant, and Makoto is determined to do everything in his power to help him recover.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Komaeda Nagito/Naegi Makoto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>187</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>You Won’t Find Salvation in Stagnation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Makoto’s eyes fixate on the back of Kyoko’s head as she proceeds steadily down the hall, trying to match her confident stride. Her heels click against the tiles of the floor, and she gestures for him to come closer. As soon as he approached, she grabs him by the wrist and drags him around a corner, swiftly examining the their surroundings before stepping closer to him, a steely look of determination burning behind her violet gaze. </p><p>“What’s this all about?” </p><p>He asks, confused about her serious demeanor. She was prone to doing seemingly inexplicable things like this, although it was usually for a good reason, but it was still jarring when she’d dragged him out of his office with very minimal explanation. </p><p>“There’s a camera blind spot here. I need to discuss something with you in absolute secrecy.” </p><p>She explains, folding her arms across her chest. </p><p>“Alright, what’s up? </p><p>He asks casually, trying not to concern himself too much with her severe tone of voice. Kyoko treated all of the work she did at the future foundation with absolute seriousness, so it usually wasn’t worth getting nervous about. </p><p>“I’m going to need your assistance with managing one of the Remnants. He’s been giving all of our personnel a difficult time, and the staff who know about our plan are starting to run out of options. The higher ups won’t be happy about it, but we need your help urgently.” </p><p>As soon as Makoto opens his mouth to speak, she raises a finger and silences him with a piercing glare.</p><p>“I already know what you’re going to say. I wish it was simpler to get foundation’s approval to get your assistance with things, but they see you as an important figurehead and they’re already on edge and paranoid of something happening to you. The situation is dire, and Togami-kun and I don’t have the time to forge the paperwork that this process usually entails.”</p><p>Kyoko frowns, distaste evident behind her voice. Makoto sighs heavily, already anticipating the lecture he’ll have to endure from the executives of the Future Foundation. </p><p>“Fine. What do you need help with?”</p><p>He huffs, wondering to himself what kind of scheme Kyoko was devising, and dreading the inevitable admonishment he’d have to face. </p><p>“Most of the other Remnants have been either sedated, or secured, in order to ensure that they won’t harm any of our staff. But one there is one Ultimate Despair in particular that’s in an extremely unstable condition. He’s a danger to himself and potentially others, and our agents have been unable to contain him in a way that can effectively prevent his self destructive outbursts.”</p><p>Kyoko informs, narrowing her eyes and pursing her lips. Makoto shivers at the sight, supposing that he still finds her intimidating sometimes, even after all of these years. </p><p>“Who is the Remnant that’s giving you so much trouble?”</p><p>He inquires, his brow quirking with a hint of curiosity. </p><p>“Komaeda Nagito. He’s the former Ultimate Lucky Student.”</p><p>Makoto nods nonchalantly, doing a surprisingly good job of maintaining his composure. </p><p>“Yeah, I’ve read his file. What’s up with him?”</p><p>Makoto questions, shuddering a little bit as Kyoko steeples her fingers and shoots him an icy cold glare. </p><p>“He’s in a very emotionally volatile state. Somehow, despite Junko’s brainwashing, he’s retained a love of hope, but it clashes very strongly with the despair that she’s forced upon him. He seems to be experiencing mental anguish due to the conflict, and he’s behaving very erratically...”</p><p>Kyoko trails off, notes of pity wavering behind her words. Makoto tugs at the collar of his shirt, gulping in anticipation.</p><p>“What kind of behavior has he been exhibiting?” </p><p>Makoto presses, looking up at her to catch a glance at her deeply troubled and somewhat fatigued expression. </p><p>“He seems to be struggling against his hopeful nature so he can completely internalize the innate desire to inflict despair upon others caused by Junko’s influence, and is redirecting that energy towards himself. His self harm impulses are... sporadic and extreme. We’ve had to completely empty out his containment area because of the immense danger he poses to himself.”</p><p>“So what, he’s just all by himself in an empty cell?”</p><p>Makoto asks, sounding shocked and somewhat disturbed. Kyoko doesn’t have the patience for it. </p><p>“We’ve had to resort to drastic measures. Within only a few hours of arriving here, he tried to tie his bedsheets into a noose and hang himself. We tried to have our resident psychiatrist talk him down, but he was inconsolable, and he was speaking completely incomprehensibly. We stripped his bed and left only the mattress behind, but not long after, he ripped out one of the mattress springs and tried to injure himself with it. We removed all of the furniture, leaving the room barren.”</p><p>Makoto winces as she pauses momentarily, but tries to shoot her an optimistic smile. </p><p>“Well, if the room is empty, he can’t hurt himself anymore, right?”</p><p>Kyoko glowers at him, and he feels his heart seize up and his stomach sink. He can sense the stress radiating off of her in waves. He makes a mental note to ask her later if she’s been getting enough sleep. </p><p>“Not quite. When he first arrived, he was wearing a metal collar and chain, and he tried to use it to asphyxiate himself. We had to remove it, and he resisted strenuously. He didn’t seriously injure any of our staff, but afterwards, he seemed to go into a state of panic. He was hyperventilating and screaming for hours. Although we’ve deprived him of any objects he could use to harm himself, he still scratches at his arms and neck, and yanks at his hair. He hasn’t eaten anything the entire time he’s been here. He paces back and forth in his cell at night in order to deprive himself of sleep. He refuses any form of medical treatment we try to administer. Although much of his information from his time at Hope’s Peak is missing or damaged, we’ve been able to gather that he has some kind of terminal condition.” </p><p>Makoto blinks, taking a moment to process all of the information. He feels a wave of sympathy seize him, both for Kyoko and for Nagito. Rehabilitating the Remnants has been a tough ordeal, but he still believes that in the grand scheme of things, he’s doing what’s right.</p><p>“What do you want me to do to help him?”</p><p>Makoto asks, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder. </p><p>“I know this is kind of a bizarre approach, but I want you to try talking to him. In the moments where he is lucid and communicative, he talks a lot about hope, and he’s mentioned you a few times. You’ve always been good at comforting people, so... try to appeal to his better nature, or at least lull him into a sense of complacency. He doesn’t seem to be as aggressive as the other Remnants, but on the off chance that he does try to attack you, I will be waiting just outside the door with a few other personnel.”</p><p>Kyoko requests, her tone somber, yet firm. Makoto blinks up at her, then nods resolutely, the fiery passion of determination aflame within his hazel eyes. Kyoko’s lips quirk up into a faint smile, and she tosses her lavender hair over her shoulder and begins leading him through the halls of the maze-like complex once more. </p><p>“I do hope that I’ll be able to help him, however... Do you have a backup plan? If this doesn’t work, what are you going to do?”</p><p>Makoto questions cautiously, trying to match Kyoko’s steady pace and walk with long, confident strides.</p><p>“Well, if that ends up being the case, I’m going to have to ask Togami-kun to procure a padded cell and a restraint jacket so he won’t-“</p><p>“That’s horrible! It’s far too cruel to treat someone like that, and he’ll still be suffering!”</p><p>Makoto explains, watching as Kyoko goes tense, her shoulders visibly stiffening. </p><p>“It’s not ideal, but he’s going to kill himself at this rate. Besides, I have faith that you won’t fail us. Your hope spiel may be so sappy that it’s almost cloying, but it can truly work wonders sometimes.”</p><p>Kyoko reassures, although her tone is too stern to really be all too motivational or uplifting. Makoto puffs out a dejected sigh as they approach the door to his cell, starting to feel the pressure of the situation get to him. He still manages to flash a convincing lackadaisical smile at the staff members gathered by the door, wincing a little when he realizes that they have stun guns. </p><p>“Just in case things go awry...”</p><p>Kyoko remarks, reading the look on his face and responding accordingly. Makoto folds his arms across his chest and gives her his best stern look. </p><p>“I thought you said that you trusted me to handle this? Did you even prepare any food, water, blankets, medicine, bandages, or-“</p><p>“Fine, I get it. I’ll have the staff prepare some food and medical supplies.” </p><p>Kyoko quips, nudging him in the direction of the door. Makoto bites back a groan, wanting to look professional in front of the other personnel. He watches anxiously as she unlocks the door, putting in a passcode and then activating some sort of retinal scanner. </p><p>“The door will automatically lock behind you when you enter. If anything goes wrong, just scream for help, and we’ll come rushing in. Just be cautious, make sure you keep your own safety in mind...”</p><p>She trails of momentarily, before proffering a genuine smile, and patting his shoulder. </p><p>“You’ve got this.”</p><p>He gulps, and then nods resolutely, quietly stepping into the room and flinching slightly as he hears the airtight hiss of the door sealing shut behind him. The lighting fixtures in the barren room shine down harsh and oppressive, illuminating the sleeping figure curled up against the wall. Nagito is shivering and twitching in his sleep, his pallid face scrunched up into a distressed expression. His leather jacket is draped over him like a blanket, but he’s still shivering from the coldness of the tile beneath him. </p><p>“Komaeda...”</p><p>Makoto whispers softly, taking a few steps closer in order to get a better look him and assess his injuries while he’s still unconscious. Nagito stirs in his state of fitful slumber as Makoto slowly approaches, but doesn’t wake. His breathing sounds like a painful rasp, but he’s snuffling and wheezing steadily, which is a relief. His arms and legs are completely covered by his thick woolen sweater and jeans, so Makoto can’t tell if he has any untreated wounds, but he can still tell that he has a dark purple ring of bruises on his neck, as well as a few scratch marks. </p><p>“Komaeda, please wake up...”</p><p>He murmurs, leaning over him and silently praying that he’d be able to get through to the Remnant of Despair by simply speaking to him. Nagito twitches and groans softly, rubbing at his eyes with the heel of his palm, white lashes fluttering. </p><p>“Why is-“</p><p>Nagito’s voice is indistinct and sleepy, but his question is cut short as soon as he locks his eyes on Makoto, jaw snapping shut with an audible click. He pulls himself into a sitting position and frantically rubs at his eyes, blinking in disbelief as if he was trying to confirm what he was seeing. </p><p>“Are you okay? My name is Naegi Makoto, and I’m here to help you.”</p><p>Nagito’s grey green eyes are staring at him now, impossibly wide and conveying an aura of absolute reverence.</p><p>“I know who you are...”</p><p>Nagito croaks, crawling closer on his hands and knees, his skinny form trembling and his expression focused and rapt. Makoto bites his lip and looks away, unable to process the implications of his current behavior. </p><p>“You’re the one who defeated the despicable individual that plunged this wretched world into the bottomless depths of heedless despair! The person who embodies goodness and light to such an extent that you’ve earned the title of Ultimate Hope! The manifestation of absolute perfection, given human form! You’re perfect, you’re...”</p><p>Nagito trails off from his rambling, gazing up at Makoto with a bright-eyed, twisted smile. </p><p>“What are you doing here?”</p><p>Nagito questions, sitting up on his knees and wrapping his arms around his torso, as if he was trying to calm himself down. </p><p>“Like I said, I’m here to help you out. Our goal is to rehabilitate all of the Remnants, but we need to make sure you’re in a<br/>
stable physical condition before we can start the process of putting you all in the Neo World Program, and-“</p><p>Nagito chuckles at this, and upon catching a glimpse of Makoto’s confused expression, delves into delirious a delirious fit of giggling. His laughter is interspersed with sharp, hacking coughs that feel like they’re tearing up his throat, but he can’t stop himself. </p><p>“Naegi-sama, don’t say something so absurd! Why would the Future Foundation want to waste it’s resources rehabilitating a worthless piece of human refuse such as myself? Surely your resources could be better allocated elsewhere, so it would be much more convenient for everyone if you went ahead and put me out of my misery!”</p><p>Nagito chirps, his gaunt, sickly looking face lighting up with a terrifying smile. </p><p>“What? No! First of all, please don’t call me Naegi-sama, you don’t need to put me on that kind of pedestal. You can just call me Naegi-kun, if you’re comfortable with that. And second of all, we are definitely not going to kill you! That would be counterintuitive to our plan of leading you back to the path of hope.” </p><p>Makoto insists, bending down and offering Nagito his hand. The white haired man shudders, and backs away, gawking at his hand with a look of absolute bewilderment. </p><p>“I knew that you were a kind and hopeful person, but this is just too much... It doesn’t make any sense that you would find any value in assisting a disgusting waste of space such as myself, I must have misinterpreted your words, somehow. I don’t deserve that kind of compassion!”</p><p>Nagito babbles, hugging himself tightly and ducking his head. He’s quivering really hard, eyes fixated squarely on Makoto’s shoes.</p><p>“That’s not true, I’m certain of it! Everyone deserves a second chance, and it’s not your fault you were affected by Enoshima’s brainwashing. We’re experimenting with a potential method to undo the effects of her despairing influence, and we want to alleviate the suffering that you’ve had to endure.”</p><p>Makoto kneels down, proffering a patient smile. Nagito’s eyes are glazed and unblinking, watching his every move with single-minded focus. He squeezes his own shoulders tightly, clutching the fabric of his sweater and rubbing at his arms anxiously as Makoto cautiously inches closer and closer.</p><p>“I definitely don’t think you’re worthless or disgusting. Nobody should have to suffer because of Enoshima’s actions, and I want to do everything in my power to help those who’ve been hurt by her! So please, just... let me help you.”</p><p>Makoto puts a hand on Nagito’s shoulder, and he yelps, his entire body going rigid. Startled, Makoto pulls his hand away, and Nagito rapidly backs into the corner of the room and shrieks into his hands.</p><p>“Don’t touch me! Please, please, don’t touch me! I’m sorry, but-but, please! I can’t let myself soil your wonderful hope, by allowing myself to interact with someone as intrinsically perfect as you. I’m filthy, repulsive, absolute devoid of any kind of worth... Sick, sick, sick- it makes me feel sick, like I’m going to throw up! The fact that you would feel obligated to subject yourself to my loathsome, despairing presence... Ahahaha! it makes me want to bleed myself out!” </p><p>He presses his knees into his chest as he blathers endlessly, his entire body shaking so hard that it makes his nausea worse. </p><p>“Woah, woah, relax! Please don’t say things like that, I just want to be able to help you feel better. Don’t hurt yourself, I don’t want you to be in any more pain.”</p><p>Makoto stumbles a little closer to him, and Nagito screams desperately and buries a hand into his hair, pushing his back against the wall and huddling up as small as he can manage. His breathing is growing shallower as a foreboding sense of panic sets in, rapidly approaching a state of hyperventilation. He mentally chastises himself for being so weak and pathetic, in front of Makoto of all people, but he can’t shake the looming sensation of dread that plagues his mind.</p><p>“Please don’t come any closer! And please... don’t say that to me ever again. You’re mistaken, you have to be. I am nothing but a writhing, lowly parasite, a pathetic excuse for a human being who should have died a long time ago. I deserve to suffer for as long as I am alive, I deserve all of this pain and much, much more. You shouldn’t have to extend your beautiful, radiant hope towards a miserable nobody like me.”</p><p>Makoto sucks in a nervous breath as he rants on and on, watching as he begins rocking back and forth in the corner, tugging at his hair with one hand and mumbling to himself. </p><p>“None of that is true!”</p><p>Makoto exclaims, fighting through his hesitancy and inching closer to him as slowly as he can manage. Nagito cackles, bloodshot eyes peeking up at him, before quickly delving into dry sobbing. He despises himself for rambling so much, and his throat is burning with every word that escapes his lips, but he has to put a voice to his self deprecating thoughts before the bitterness consumes him.    </p><p>“Ahaha-God! I’m such a worthless piece of shit... I truly am disgusting, I can’t believe I’ve caused you to have such misguided thoughts about a disgrace such as myself! I hate myself-I hate myself, I hate myself so much, more and more, every single day. I wish I could just die! I’m so sorry that I’ve manipulated you into thinking that I’m worth your time or your sympathy. I suppose it’s just another testament to how awful I am, but I really am repulsed by my own abhorrent behavior.”</p><p>He whimpers, yanking his snowy white hair aggressively and throwing his head back against the wall, resulting in a sickening crack. A hiccup catches in his throat, and he begins scratching at his scalp, wearing an expression of complete and utter agony. Makoto notices that the sleeve of his striped sweater slip down his skinny wrist, revealing rows and rows of fresh scars zigzagging all the way down to his elbow. His heart aches with understanding, as he knows all too well the kind of impact that Junko’s despair can have on a person’s mental state.</p><p>“Komaeda, please don’t be upset! I know you’re in a lot of pain right now, but if you’ll let me, I can guide you towards the path of recovery.”</p><p>Makoto exclaims, torn between trying to console him and respecting his boundaries. Nagito chokes on a fit of harsh coughs and delirious spasms of laughter, his face lighting up with an anguished grin. </p><p>“Don’t say something so absolutely absurd! Please, please-I’m begging you! By extending such unwarranted kindness to a vile, insignificant piece of subhuman filth such as myself, you could be subjecting yourself to potential danger!”</p><p>Nagito pleads, a desperate waver behind his voice as his emotions overwhelm him. Makoto draws a sharp breath through his teeth as he watches Nagito scratch aggressively at his neck and face, his nails leaving crescent shaped welts and angry red marks across his pale skin. His heart aches with tenderness and notes of pity, and he finds himself wanting nothing more than to comfort and reassure the person suffering right before him, but he doesn’t want to make the panic response any worse than it already is. </p><p>“Danger? What do you mean by that?”</p><p>Is what he opts to ask instead, a nervous tension working it’s way into his muscles as Nagito’s head swivels upwards to stare at him, his grey-green eyes glimmering with the glossy sheen of tears and his lips twisted into a manic smile. </p><p>“My luck, it could pose a serious threat to you... Anything even remotely good that exists within my life, my luck rips it away from me and destroys it. It hurts, but I deserve the ache of omnipresent sadness that it gives me, along with everything else. It isn’t worth risking your safety to bring me momentary salvation, because my luck will find a way to punish me for the continuation of my worthless existence, no matter what I do. If something awful happened to someone as wonderful as you because of my rotten luck, I’d kill myself...”</p><p>He’s wracked by a full body shudder, slapping his palm over his mouth in order to muffle an audible sob. Tears rapidly begin to gush down his cheeks, and he buries his face into his arms, weeping at the onslaught of guilt that washes over his brain.</p><p>“God- just the thought of it makes me want to slit my throat. Just existing as I am now, I’m already the scum of the earth, but if the dazzling light of your hope was smothered out by my own despair... I’d be absolutely unforgivable. The only way to redeem myself would be to die an excruciatingly painful death at my own hands. I already deserve that much, but I just can’t bring another person down with me. So please, please! Just leave me here to die. You don’t have to do anything drastic, just leave me alone to slowly starve, alone in this room. That would be pretty fitting. Wasting away to skin and bones, wallowing in my own misery, and decaying into the floor of the Future Foundation... what a beautiful way to die!”</p><p>Nagito’s body convulses with a series of raspy giggles, even as tears continue to cascade down his face and his labored breathing becomes even more scratchy. Makoto balls his hands into fists, anxiety coursing through him as he feels the weight of his responsibility in this situation crushing against his ribs, like an anvil. </p><p>“You think you deserve to suffer like this because of your luck? I have luck too, you know. I know your luck has affected you negatively in the past, but it’s not worth tearing yourself apart from the inside out to ease the guilt you feel. Blaming yourself for things completely outside of your control will just make you hurt even more.” </p><p>Makoto murmurs, crouching slightly in an attempt to be eye-level with him. Nagito screeches into his hands and starts clawing at the skin of his neck, bawling so hard that he could scarcely speak over his desperate sobs. </p><p>“It’s my-fu-fucking fault! It’s all my fault! I should just die, die, die! Slowly and painfully, just like I’ve always deserved! I should have put a bullet in my head years ago, but I always clung to hope, right up until that wicked woman destroyed everything. I shuh-should have fought harder, I should have resisted the onslaught of despair that she corrupted the whole world with, but true to my worthless nature, I plunged into the depths of despair. Ghhkk!! Ahahaha... I’ve hurt so many fucking people. I don’t deserve a chance at redemption! There’s no hope left for something like me! Please, god please, just let me die!”</p><p>The way Nagito clasps his hands together and leans forward on his knees, it’s almost like he’s praying; like Makoto is a figure of worship. It makes Makoto feel deeply uneasy, although he can’t really discern why. </p><p>“No matter what happens, you can’t just give up on hope, and you can never give up on your life! No matter how dark the despair you face, the light of hope will always shine through! Hope will always triumph over despair, and I believe that hope can be found within everybody! It’s good to feel remorse about the bad things you’ve done, but you can’t let that guilt consume you. Instead of self destructing, you can channel that energy into something positive, liking making amends and helping the people you’ve hurt! I believe that there’s still hope for you, and more importantly, I believe in you. So please, let’s just-“</p><p>“STOP!! Please, please, pl-please stop! It hurts, it hurts, you can’t! God- I just... I can’t do this anymore!”</p><p>Nagito howls, his nails ripping at the skin of his throat until blood starts welling up and oozing sluggishly from the wounds. His wails become gurgled and distorted the harder he digs his nails into the skin, and Makoto knows he has to act fast. He launches himself at Nagito, gripping his wrists tightly and pulling his hands back. Nagito blinks up at him in absolute bewilderment, tears splattering onto his lap as he stares in utter disbelief. Makoto maneuvers his firm grip on Nagito’s hands to pin them to his sides, then embraces him tightly and suddenly, effectively trapping his hands so he can’t hurt himself. </p><p>“NO!! PLEASE, NO!”</p><p>Nagito hollers, thrashing his limbs and struggling with all of his might. Makoto is able to contain his terrified flailing by embracing him securely, as he easily overpowers the frail, malnourished boy in terms of strength and stamina. Nagito’s will to fight gradually dies down, and he resigns himself to weeping in Makoto’s arms. </p><p>“It’s okay, it’s all gonna be okay. I’ve got you. I’m gonna help you, and I’m gonna make sure you feel better, because you deserve it. I’ll ensure that the light of hope shines upon your life once again. I swear on my title as Ultimate Hope, I will help you!”</p><p>Makoto promises, squeezing Nagito’s shivering form with all of his might. The white haired boy can’t help but bury his face into Makoto’s shoulder and cry, hiccuping and sniffling as he tries to regulate his breathing. </p><p>“I’m so-sorry, I-I’m so w-worthless,  I should just-“</p><p>Makoto shushes him softly, holding him close and keeping his arms locked around the other’s trembling body. </p><p>“It’s alright, I’ve got you. Everything is going to be okay. I promise...”</p><p>Makoto murmurs against his ear, smiling with relief when he hears the white haired man’s breathing begin to even out. Nagito continues whispering muffled apologies into the crook of Makoto’s neck, prompting the brunet to gently caress his tangled hair. Nagito slumps into his arms, letting out a contented sigh and returning the hug at last. </p><p>“You truly are... the Ultimate Hope... so gracious, so completely, intrinsically perfect. Your hope is magnificent, but I fear that it’s wasted on scum like me.” </p><p>Nagito mumbles, feeling himself relax almost involuntarily as Makoto pets his messy hair and hushes him with aching tenderness. </p><p>“You aren’t scum. You’re worthy of love and happiness, just like anyone else. Let yourself feel it, and don’t forget that other people care about you. I care about you. So please, accept our help, and we’ll do everything we possibly can to alleviate the pain you’re in.”</p><p>Makoto coos, whispering softly into his ear. Nagito sobs against his neck, nuzzling his face into the fabric of his coat and taking a deep breath in an attempt to ground himself. </p><p>“You care about me...?”</p><p>Nagito echoes, his words taking on the intonation of a question. </p><p>“Of course I do. Seeing you be able to get better, and move past this would make me so happy! You deserve to flourish and thrive, especially after everything you’ve been though.” </p><p>Makoto soothes, shifting his unoccupied hand to stroke his back absentmindedly. Nagito hums tiredly in response, leaning against Makoto’s torso and basking in the subtle warmth of his body heat. </p><p>“I really hope that this is helping you feel better. You deserve so much happiness. Nobody deserves to be in pain.” </p><p>Nagito halfheartedly attempts to refute what Makoto is saying to him, but the brunet swiftly interrupts him by shifting him to lay across his lap, cradling him like a baby and delicately rocking him to and fro. </p><p>“Warm...”</p><p>Nagito purrs, his tears finally starting to run dry as he nudges his head against Makoto’s chest affectionately. The guilt is beginning to fizzle and dissipate, overwhelmed by the monumental joy brought about by being coddled by the Ultimate Hope, of all people. </p><p>“Komaeda... would it be okay if I had some of our employees bring in some food, water, and medical equipment for you?”</p><p>Makoto questions, an amicable serenity to his voice that makes Nagito’s heart flutter.  Nagito impulsively throws his arms around Makoto’s neck and clings to him, starling him slightly. </p><p>“Only if you don’t leave... please. I know I’m posing an immense burden on you, and I do feel guilty about it, but I don’t think I can manage it on my own. I’m sorry, I-“</p><p>“Don’t be. You have nothing to apologize for. I’m here to help you, so if there’s anything you need, just ask. That’s all you have to do.”</p><p>Makoto’s contented smile is so blindingly beautiful, to such an extent that Nagito can’t help but feel awed by its radiance. Makoto embodies hope so delicately and inherently, and he feels truly blessed to be able to experience something so borderline holy, up close and personal. It makes him unbelievably happy, much happier than he could ever possibly deserve. </p><p>“I can handle it. I think that as long as you’re here... I’ll be fine.”</p><p>Makoto smiles warmly at him in response, and waves at the door, gesturing for the staff to bring in all of the supplies. Nagito can practically feel the room light up when he smiles like that, the harsh lighting of his cell illuminating him almost like a halo. The Future Foundation employees leave everything he might need in a small pile near their feet, and promptly leave the room, still somewhat fearful of a potential outburst from him. </p><p>“Have something to drink first, then eat. You’ll feel better once you have something in your stomach.”</p><p>Makoto murmurs, and Nagito lets out an involuntary, yet blissful sigh. His lashes flutter, and he wishes that he could tell Makoto that he already feels better; he’s never felt so good in his life. But his throat still burns, and he doesn’t think he could competently or coherently put it into words. His hand is shaking as he lifts the cup of ice water and lifts it to his lips, trembling so badly that he’s in danger of spilling it on himself. A bit of water drips from the edge of the cup and streaks down onto his sweater, and the self loathing thoughts immediately begin to fester. </p><p>“Sorry, I’m so useless, I can’t even-“</p><p>“Easy now, I’ll help you.”</p><p>Makoto soothes, taking the cup into his hands and cautiously tilting it towards his lips until the liquid reaches his mouth. Nagito hums quietly as the liquid pours down his throat, and he closes his eyes and basks in a sense of utter euphoria as Makoto gently takes his chin and leans his head back to help him drink it all. </p><p>“Thank you...”</p><p>He whispers reverently, grappling with his inability to express his gratitude in mere words. He can barely even process his own thoughts, giddy with exhilaration, practically high on the fact that he can feel nothing but this. </p><p>“Try to eat some soup, too. It might be difficult to keep it down, depending on how long it’s been since you’ve last eaten, but I told our personnel to prepare a simple potato soup, so it shouldn’t shock your stomach.”</p><p>Makoto encourages, lifting the bowl of soup, and holding a spoonful of it up to his lips. </p><p>“I’m truly unworthy of your kindness.”</p><p>He exhales rapturously, nuzzling his tangled head of white hair into Makoto’s shoulder and and shifting his position to bring himself closer to the living, breathing embodiment of perfection. He wonders to himself if he’s died without realizing it and slipped into the afterlife, but he knows that can’t be the case, because this is bringing him far closer to heaven then he could ever possibly deserve. </p><p>“Don’t say that. You’re worth a lot more than you realize.”</p><p>Makoto insists, furrowing his brows as he pokes the tip of the spoon against Nagito’s lips. The taller boy obediently opens his mouth and swallows it down, and despite it’s utter simplicity, it tastes borderline ambrosial. He eats as much as he can manage, groaning when he starts to feel full. He looks down at the bowl, and see that he’s only eaten about half of it, and finds himself being hit with an immediate wave of shame. </p><p>“I’m really sorry, but I don’t think I can eat the rest of it. I truly am pathetic. I don’t mean to disregard the unwarranted kindness shown to me by both you and the Future Foundation, but I don’t think I could eat it all without making myself sick...”</p><p>Nagito whimpers, gazing longingly into Makoto’s shining hazel eyes as he slides the bowl away from them and sets the spoon down.</p><p>“No, no, it’s okay! I’m actually proud of you. I’m really glad that you were able to eat at all. You did the best you could, and I can only imagine how difficult this must be for you. I know you’re pushing yourself right now, and it’s not a big deal if you can’t eat it all. Just take deep breaths, and try to relax.”</p><p>Makoto instructs, rubbing Nagito’s back and checking the rate of his breathing. Nagito inhales deeply, trying to be cognizant of his breathing pattern in order to regulate it. </p><p>“You’re so strong, Komaeda-kun. You’ve got this.” </p><p>Makoto reassures softly, wrapping his arms around his midsection and hugging him until his pattern of wheezing breaths began to completely even out. Nagito feels his limbs go slack as he melts deeper into the embrace, falling into a comfortable daze as he loses his reign on his inhibitions. </p><p>“You’re so good to me...”</p><p>He mumbles contentedly, only vaguely aware of Makoto trying to maneuver his limp body back into a sitting position. </p><p>“Don’t pass out on me, okay? I still have to treat your wounds. I do know enough first aid to be able to take care of most of this, but a nurse will have to come in to administer all of your vaccines. We’ll run more sophisticated tests when you’ve rested. Is that okay?” </p><p>Makoto questions, clasping a warm hand over one of Nagito’s cold, clammy palms and lacing their fingers together. Nagito blinks a few times to keep his sluggish body awake and alert, then nods lazily. </p><p>“Of course. Thank you s-so much...” </p><p>He croons, practically high on the feeling of affection he gets when he watches Makoto paw through the first aid kit. </p><p>“Umm... I’m going to ask you to undress a bit, just so I can see if there are any wounds that need my attention. I promise I won’t make it weird though!”</p><p>Makoto stammers, to which Nagito just gives a short, carefree chuckle. Makoto can’t help but smile at the sound of it, despite his mild embarrassment, because it sounded so much happier than the laughter he’d heard from the sickly man not too long ago. </p><p>“There’s no need to concern yourself, Naegi-kun. I’m honored.” </p><p>He tugs the threadbare sweater over his head and gets to work unbuttoning his jeans, all while Makoto averts his gaze respectfully. Nagito folds his clothes with one arm still wrapped around Makoto, leaving on only his boxers and the mitt covering his hand. Makoto runs his hands across Nagito’s bruised, skinny chest, his fingers light and worrisome. A deep frown etches itself into his face when he gets a close look at how malnourished Nagito is, carefully tracing the bumps of his rib cage and the concave of his stomach. His worry only increases tenfold when he lightly presses his palm against a bruise and the white haired man winces and sucks in air though his teeth, eyes screwing shut in pain. </p><p>“Komaeda-kun... I’m sorry.”</p><p>He murmurs, preparing a small vat of a soothing balm to slather to the bruises all over his body with. Nagito bites his lip and refuses to make eye contact. </p><p>“If anybody should apologize, it’s me. I’m sorry for forcing you to look at my repulsive body like this. You must be so disgusted...”</p><p>Makoto shakes his head so fast it makes him dizzy, terrified of sending him spiraling down into a sea of self loathing thoughts again. </p><p>“No, I wasn’t thinking that at all! It’s just... you look like you’re in a lot of pain.”</p><p>Makoto trails off, applying the salve with utmost care. Nagito closes his eyes and relaxes himself to the best of his ability throughout the whole process, and gives a bemused hum as Makoto applies compression bandages to a large, dark purple contusion on his upper arm. He savors the sensation of Makoto’s nimble fingers brushing across his skin, white lashes fluttering as he tries to find the right words to quell Makoto’s concerns. </p><p>“I’m used to it.”</p><p>He breathes after several moments of terse silence, leaning his head back as Makoto wipes at the dried blood caked onto his neck with a damp washcloth. </p><p>“You don’t deserve that. Any of it.”</p><p>Makoto says sternly, voice taking on a tone that was foreign to Nagito’s ears. The wound was still bleeding slightly, so the younger luckster pressed a pad of gauze against the cuts until the steady trickle of blood stopped. Wrapping an arm around Nagito’s shoulder and clutching it to make sure he was okay, he reaches for a bottle of disinfectant and sprays some onto the shallow scratch marks, feeling slightly horrified that he was able to do that much damage with his fingernails. He applies a few bandages once he’s finished, and presses a kiss against them once he sees the troubled expression on Nagito’s face. </p><p>“There. All better.” </p><p>Nagito smiles vacantly at his words, rubbing a hand against his neck to relish the ephemeral sensation of the Ultimate Hope’s lips being there. </p><p>“Your kindness truly knows no bounds.”</p><p>He sighs, his voice sounding far off and distant. Nagito’s body goes rigid when he feels Makoto’s hands shifting far too close to his mitt, and he quickly snatches his arm away. </p><p>“Can I see?”</p><p>Makoto inquires curiously, quirking a brow at Nagito’s sudden anxiousness. </p><p>“N-no. I’m sorry, no. Please don’t take the glove.” </p><p>He whimpers, tucking his arm against his chest and cradling it nervously. </p><p>“Please? If there are any injuries there, I want to be able to treat them before they get infected.”</p><p>Makoto requests, and Nagito just can’t resist the sweetness and hesitancy swimming in that beautiful voice of his. Hesitantly, Nagito moves his arm toward Makoto and scrunches his eyes shut, like he’s expecting to be hit or yelled at. </p><p>“You aren’t going to like what you see...”</p><p>He babbles softly as Makoto pulls the fabric away, and the brunet’s gasp of absolute horror makes Nagito’s insides twist painfully. </p><p>“Is that...?”</p><p>“Yes. I... I’m so sorry. I’m sorry you had to see this.” </p><p>Nagito can feel tears welling in his eyes again, his breathing rapidly becoming shallow and uneven. </p><p>“Oh my God...”</p><p>Nagito feels a few wayward tears stream from his tightly closed eyes, and he barely stifles a sob when Makoto presses his arm to against his chest and clings to it. </p><p>“Komaeda-kun, I’m so, so sorry. Who did this to you?” </p><p>Nagito hiccups and breaks down into a litany of apologies, sniffling as he tries to choke out the right words to explain how he desecrated his own body and tainted himself with a piece of the Ultimate Despair. </p><p>“You... did this to yourself?”</p><p>Nagito nods solemnly, feeling as though he’s finally proven his worthlessness to Makoto. He can’t help but gasp when the brown haired man throws his arms around him and pulls him into a firm embrace, and somehow, he’s able to pull himself together enough to avoid bawling into his arms, instead returning the embrace and burying his head into the smaller man’s neck. </p><p>“I truly am awful, aren’t I?”</p><p>He rasps, a resigned misery settling over him as his tears run dry. </p><p>“No, no, it’s not your fault. I don’t blame you. It’s just... it must have been agony.” </p><p>Nagito curls up in Makoto’s lap as he feels Makoto lift his arm and inspect the injuries he’d inflicted on himself, trying to mentally distance himself from the situation. </p><p>“It doesn’t matter. I deserved every second of it.”</p><p>He drones, his voice still raw from crying and heavy with guilt. Makoto sighs and hands him the mitt back along with a change of clothes, glancing at him with teary, yet resolute eyes. </p><p>“Never say that you deserve to be in pain. You’re a valuable, precious person. It couldn’t be any further from the truth. I’m going to let you put the mitt back on along with these clothes when the nurse comes in, because I think you’d be more comfortable that way. Just please... try to be kinder to yourself.”</p><p>Nagito flashes him a half hearted smile as he changes into the oversized hoodie and sweatpants, and feels infinitely more relaxed when he puts the mitt back on. </p><p>“You’re way too nice to me. It feels kind of surreal, honestly. I really don’t understand you.” </p><p>Nagito keens as he settles back onto Makoto’s lap, giving a pleased hum as the smaller man starts playing with his hair and presses a kiss into his scalp. </p><p>“I know it must be strange for you, but try to treat yourself a little bit better. It would make me really happy, and it would aid in your recovery tremendously. I promise that you can do it. You’re going to be okay. And I’m going to take care of you every single step of the way.” </p><p>Makoto promises, and when he sees a genuine, happy smile cross the white haired man’s face, he can’t help but sigh in relief. Nagito nestles into Makoto’s lap, half asleep and borderline delirious as the nurse gives him all of his shots. As soon as the needle pierces his skin, he whimpers and lays his head against Makoto’s chest, overwhelmed by all of the attention and the slight pain. Once his medical needs have been tended to, the nurse leaves the two of them alone in the room once more.</p><p>“I’m so glad that you seem more relaxed, but I’m probably going to have to leave soon. I have to get some rest, I have responsibilities in the morning...”</p><p>As soon as these words leave his mouth, Nagito clings to him desperately, his long limbs wrapping around his body and locking him in place. </p><p>“Please don’t go... I don’t want to be without you. I can’t... Your hope is so intoxicating, and now that I’ve gotten a taste of it... I can’t stand to be without you. I’m sorry for my impudent selfishness, but I really don’t think I can manage...” </p><p>He begs, his voice warbling piteously, as if he were on the verge of bursting into tears once again. </p><p>“I am really sorry, but I could get into a lot of trouble if anyone found you...”</p><p>Makoto murmurs, wincing at the sensation of Nagito’s body beginning to tremble against his. </p><p>“P-please. I’m sorry for being so weak, but I don’t think I can take it. The despair that permeates my very being is far too painful for a pathetic nobody like me to be able to handle it. It’s selfish and disgusting, but I don’t want to be alone...”</p><p>Nagito pleads, voice cracking every few words with notes of fear and raw desperation. Makoto lets out a resigned sigh, and runs a hand through his disheveled white hair in an attempt to soothe him. </p><p>“Alright, I’ll see what I can do.”</p><p>Makoto is thoroughly unsurprised when he hears the unmistakable sound of Kyoko’s irritated knocking at his door later that night, bracing himself for the tongue lashing he knows he’s about to receive. </p><p>“Naegi-kun, when I said I wanted you to assist Komaeda Nagito and bolster his emotional state, this is not what I meant...”</p><p>She snaps, gawking at the peaceful form of the white haired boy laying sprawled out across his bed, curled up against his hoodie. He’d managed to sneak him past all of the security cameras and into his bedroom, and had allowed him to remain there while he worked on a few of his assignments for the foundation. He’d known that Kyoko or Byakuya would have figured out what he’d done pretty quickly, and had been dreading the lecture he was certain he’d receive from both of them. He hopes that he’ll be able to get Kyoko off of his case for the time being, and convince her that letting Nagito spend the night in his room was a good idea.</p><p>“Look, I know it’s unconventional, but I really think it’ll be good for him in the long run. He seems so much happier already!” </p><p>He explains, gesticulating wildly with his hands and blocking her view when she tries to peer over his shoulder. She rubs her gloved hands against her forehead and groans, practically exuding stress and exhaustion from ever pore of her body. </p><p>“If any of the higher ups at the foundation find him in here, we are absolutely fucked. I’m not covering for you if you get caught!”</p><p>She seethes, glaring at him with a look that could probably turn him to stone if he made eye contact long enough. </p><p>“Relax, it’s not like there are any cameras in my room... and I know it’s risky, but-“</p><p>“You’re doing it for the sake of hope or whatever, I know. Sometimes your level of absolute goodness and faith in others goes way beyond my understanding...”</p><p>She interrupts him, before huffing loudly and taking a few seconds to compose herself. </p><p>“I’m sorry. I think my workload is starting to wane on my sanity a little bit. Togami-kun and I are in way over our heads in rehabilitating the remnants of despair. I know you’re trying to do the right thing, just be careful, okay?” </p><p>Kyoko apologizes softly, her lavender eyes crinkling into a genuine, albeit tired looking smile. Makoto gives a carefree laugh, a wave of relief watching over him.</p><p>“Thank you Kirigiri-san! I promise I’ll make it up to you, somehow...“</p><p>He assures her, to which Kyoko just stifles a yawn and rubs at her eyes.</p><p>“Get some rest, Makoto. I’m sure you’ll get an earful from Togami-kun tomorrow, but ultimately, we’ll do everything we can to support you on this endeavor. Just take care of yourself. Goodnight, Naegi-kun.”</p><p>Makoto waves to her as she starts heading down the hall towards her own bedroom, and closes the door behind her. He quickly changes into an old shirt and a pair of boxers, and settles down next to Nagito in the bed. The white haired boy immediately pulls Makoto into a tender embrace, burying his face into his shoulder and humming contentedly. </p><p>“You’re so endlessly kind, I can’t believe you’d jeopardize yourself for the sake of somebody worthless like me...” </p><p>He whispers, tucking his head under Makoto’s chin and curling himself around the shorter boy’s body, his wispy hair tickling his face as he presses himself as close as he can get. </p><p>“I’ve already told you, it’s no trouble. I just want to do whatever it takes to help you heal. I see a lot of myself in you, and I don’t want you to have to suffer needlessly.” </p><p>Makoto breathes, and Nagito just giggles sordidly and snuggles closer. </p><p>“You really are the Ultimate Hope, if you can wholeheartedly put your belief in somebody as horrible as me. I apologize in advance if I can’t manage to live up to your expectations...”</p><p>Nagito sighs, eyes fluttering at Makoto runs a hand through his hair, then strokes at his back absentmindedly. </p><p>“You should put more stock in my decision to trust you. I believe that the Neo World Program can help restore hope in the hearts of you and your classmates, and I believe in you.” </p><p>Makoto promises, tracing his fingers up each knob of Nagito’s spine. Nagito shivers at this, leaning back into the touch and trying not to revel in it too much. </p><p>“I will do my absolute best. The despair that’s wormed itself into my spirit is terrifying, but if there’s one thing I never stopped believing in, it’s that hope will always overcome despair...”</p><p>He trails off, seemingly lost in his own thoughts for a few moments before continuing.</p><p>“I do apologize that you had to see me like that... in such a despair induced, manic state. When it gets that bad, my self destructive impulses get so intense that my thoughts start to feel incoherent. It’s surely a testament to how strong your hope is, that you were able to pull me out of it.” </p><p>He wheezes, his words starting to sound more sleepy and distant as a rambles on.</p><p>“I’m glad I was able to help you. Even if it’s going to be difficult, I’m so happy that I made the decision to aide you and your classmates. Being able to improve people’s lives makes me feel like the hope I’ve been fighting so hard for really means something, you know?”</p><p>Makoto mumbles, barely conscious enough to continue their conversation. </p><p>“Well, I do still want to die, but... I do feel like I’ve been able to attain a sense of peace. When I was first captured, I felt so sickened by myself, that my mind seemed to obsessively revolve around the idea of my death being a necessity. I couldn’t get those thoughts out of my head, but that non stop mantra has finally stilled. Just being in your presence was so sobering, but being at your side like this... it’s truly divine. I no longer feel repulsed by the sound of my own breathing, and the feeling of my heartbeat. It may not be much, but it’s certainly a start.”</p><p>Nagito rambles, his breath ghosting against Makoto’s collarbone as he tries to explain the sense of utter serenity that his hope instilled in him. </p><p>“I’m proud of you, Nagito. You’re really strong, and the fact that you’ve made any progress at all is truly incredible. You should probably try to get some sleep though. I promise I’ll still be here when you wake up in the morning.”</p><p>Makoto whispers, planting a gentle kiss on Nagito’s forehead and caressing his frizzy white hair in an attempt to lull him to sleep. </p><p>“I love you, Naegi-kun. It’s certainly pitiful to regard you so amicably after only having known you for a few hours, but I think I really do. I am sorry, for what it’s worth. You probably find it gross. Not that I mind. I’m just so happy that you’re allowing me to be so close to you...”</p><p>Makoto is about to refute his self deprecating words, when he feels Nagito slump against him, his breathing evening out at he finally slips into unconsciousness. He sighs, and figures it’ll be best to focus on teaching him to love himself another time, once he overcomes the despair ingrained so deeply in his psyche. He kisses the sleeping boy’s scalp with aching tenderness, and then slowly drifts into a quiet slumber by listening to the steady sound of Nagito’s raspy breathing.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey everyone! It’s sure been a hot minute since I’ve posted anything. I’m sorry about that! My phone occasionally glitches out when I try to write stuff, so it’s made making progress in any of my fics a lot harder. I know this probably isn’t what anybody really wanted me to post, but I promise I will get some work done on my multichapter fics done soon. This is just a oneshot that isn’t related to any of my other currently updating DR fics. I wanted to try my hand at writing the dynamic between Makoto and Despair era Nagito. I apologize for how edgy and melodramatic it is, because I primarily wrote it in order to vent. Regardless, I hope you all enjoy!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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